A recent grammar check for The Wizard of Yonkers pointed out that I had my adjectives in the wrong order. Unaware of any rules on the matter, I usually just go by ear, I managed to botch it all up by writing: a pink fat cat with green large polka dots.

It sounds horrible even to me!

The proper order it turns out would be size, color, noun, preposition, size, color, noun:

fat pink cat with large green polka dots

After correcting my poorly worded sentence, I proceeded to see what I could find on the subject. As tends to be the case with English, there are rules for everything and not all agree, however,  I managed to put together a table that I think covers most of it.

If ever in doubt, just read your sentence aloud, nine times out of ten, if it’s wrong you’ll hear it. For the rest this table should help:

1 number or quantity 10, thousands, a multitude, many
2 opinion beautiful, lovely, ugly, unusual, unique,
3 size big, fat, large, short, skinny, small, tall
4 physical quality thin, rough, leathery, smooth, bumpy
5 shape round, square, rectangular
6 age young, youthful, old
7 color red, blue, green, blue-green
8 origin (proper adjective) French, American, Japenese
9 material paper, canvas, metal, wood, plastic, steel
10 type general-purpose, double-sided, T-shaped
11 purpose cooking, woodworking, painting, cleaning, gardening